Recap of episode 3 of season 1 of “The Sex Lives of College Girls”


Okay, that’s a big one. We get a real sex scene on a show about college girls having sex and not just lifelong movie shortcuts for getting naked or getting boobs. Testify – this is the only Thanksgiving miracle in recorded history.

Sadly, this scene is also literally the only action we get in this episode. I can’t shake the feeling that this series moves at a real snail pace, drawing intrigue points as painfully inch by inch as its 30-minute battery life allows. Over the course of these special 30 minutes, we slowly unravel the most important narrative threads of the last episode; Leighton does community service as a penance for underage drinking, Kimberly is framed by a sexy member of the WeWork Ground Patrol (this is the story I gave her) Nico, Whitney continues her story hot love with DALTON, and Bela has sex and talks about masturbating with Kyle Mooney. She is sick and twisted, and I fully understand where she came from.

Leighton’s community service is at Essex College Women’s Center, an “inclusive collective for women and people of all genders,” which we quickly find out is really a place for daddy’s troubles, ovarian songs (despite that “all genres” thing) and nature-loving women (gross !!!). It’s hard to gauge how much the show is aware of these tired digs among female activists, but from the looks of volunteer leader Alicia (dash & lily‘s Midori Francis), whose short slicked hair and leather jacket with pointy epaulettes indicates that she is not like other girls, I guess not very.

Leighton’s community service is also the start of her Tory villain arc, in which we find out that she can’t stop wearing tweed and thinks Safe Spaces is the product of a society becoming “a little too sensitive.” “. She films and mocks people as they perform slam poems from their wombs and / or hearts at her first event at the Women’s Center, forcing Alicia to refuse to sign Leighton’s community service hours as a punishment.

Leighton has already been shunned by everyone she knows in Essex, including her New York friends, current roommates and various staff at Essex College. Will the shoulder-padded Alicia be the one to end up drilling that frozen exterior and freeing the sloppy lesbian who loves Snail Mail on the inside? Probably! She’s the only other canonical lesbian on the show, which according to TV law means they have to kiss. For now, Leighton swears to Alicia that she’ll be less of a “stupid cis bitch,” a cis slut to another.

What unites all the girls, however, is the fact that their mini-fridge smells like a “tooth abscess.” It stinks in the hallways, and throughout the episode, the roommates blame Bela on it, an accusation she calls a racially motivated “offensive conjecture”. Turns out the fridge smells like a week’s horrible cat piss because she unplugged it to spray paint her abs in the last episode and all the food inside has gone bad. You’d think any of them would have noticed that their chilled Yoplait isn’t what it used to be, but it takes the whole episode to figure it out. It is all very convincing.

But back to Bela, who’s all about nothing but being horny and Indian. At that first point, now, instead of a bunch of handjobs, Bela really wants to sleep with a guy with abs. This sparks a conversation between her, Whitney, and Kimberly about their favorite guys with abs, including Zac Efron in Baywatch, Michael B. Jordan in Creed, and – I’m sobbing as I type this – Beto o’rourke in their imagination. What, they forgot Paul Giamatti? Sure, they’re all perfectly good looking men, but these girls are teenage girls, Mindy Kaling. They want to fuck Bryce Hall and Evan Mock, not disgraced Democrat Beto O’Rourke.

Either way, Bela ends up landing the washboard abs of her dreams, a guy in his shirt walking up into the library she spots with the same laser eyes as a rabid raccoon or, I guess, a teenager. sexually inexperienced. She introduces herself as Bela, “as in dusk, but Indian ”, and when they have dinner together, she recounts how she once sacrificed herself to get out of an“ Indian thing ”with her family. Okay, we understand; you are Indian, Bela. Rather, develop fire!

But, alas, she never does. At first, I was excited to watch a show where a South Asian girl actively pursues a personal relationship with sex, which is often surrounded by cultural shame. But instead of allowing Bela to host thoughtful conversations about her background, the show narrows down her culture to a punchline, a party trick she pulls out for the white guys she covets, or just a lazy way to sum up. his character without having to develop this. It’s disheartening to see Bela being so apologetically Indian episode after episode, but, hey, she’s sleeping with a washboard guy, so maybe I’m the dumbass.

The sex itself, by the way, sounded good and fun, except the sit-up man kept responding to Bela’s cries, “You’re so sexy!” “With” You are so funny! Prompting Bela to call him a “laughter fucker”, someone who tragically only loves him for his personality. She briefly panics about his heat level and then has sex with the guy again because he did a pull-up. To move on.

I really can’t get into the Kimberly and Nico romance which seems to be blossoming; I really can not. They seem to be more like separate siblings; Kimberly, in her baby barrettes and her most modest sweaters, and Nico in her fuck… What is it, like a heather gray zipped hoodie from her Amazon locker? A dead fish has more chemistry with a pelican’s esophagus than these two, but we still have to suffer close-ups of Nico’s fluffy, fluffy lips as he teaches Kimberly French for his graduation credit minor.

By the way, we learn a little more about him. Kimberly asks Nico how he became so fluent in French, and he tells her about his au pair from Marseille, who made up for his absent mum, made him chicken nuggets and let him watch. Daddy’s Girls in French. “The first word I learned in French was menopause, “he says. OMG, Nico, you are so deep and in touch with women’s health. Do you tell all the Amazon employees as they go get your cord joggers ???

It turns out that knowing French doesn’t disqualify Nico from being your run-of-the-mill idiot. Although he invites Kimberly to his fraternity house for, Oh dear, watch French Betty White say menopause, he forgets it completely and instead watches basketball with his brothers. Kimberly is forced to come home from the fraternity house on her own in her “Stay Golden” sweatshirt, which she, I believe, printed on Redbubble.

It’s painful to watch, much like the whole Whitney thing. As well as making a few doe-eyed pleas for Dalton to finally leave his wife, Whitney seems somewhat content to help him cheat. Of course he should leave his wife because hitting a teenage football team member is, how do you say, Catch a predator shit and indicates deeper issues both within Dalton and his marriage, but obviously he won’t. Because he’s a predator. And a football coach. He does everything.

Like racing Whitney in a park because he’s so cute and silly (PUKE!) Love and basketball in the middle of the woods of Vermont because they’ve never had a date before (feels racist and VOMI!). Whitney finds out that she is registered on Dalton’s phone as “Steven Kim Accountant” while his wife is registered as “Honey Bunny”, both equally silly but feeling like a secret offends her .

To keep up appearances, during his date with Whitney, Dalton texts his wife to tell her that they need to have “a serious conversation.” Tonight. ”He shows the message sent to Whitney, who is delighted. Naturally, Dalton then goes home and quickly tells his wife that he intended to send the text to Coach Wood instead. Dalton is evil, but luckily it seems his wife thinks so too. His excuse for being shirtless on his FaceTime call, Whitney just slightly out of frame, was that he had “spilled a bunch of soup” on his shirt, so, yeah , I wouldn’t believe it either. Hopefully his poor wife Kill BillIt’s her ass and Whitney can have that extra personality trait in “having an affair”. You know, this episode was all laughs and business. Do better, gentlemen of Essex College.


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